Top 100 Reasons I Want to Lose Weight

In reading a fellow fat-blogger Half-Man's post on "secrets" to weight loss this morning, it occurred to me that I have been remiss in really articulating my inspiration for my new lifestyle. I've mentioned it in passing a few times but never really expounded - or, for that matter, really thought about it that much lately.

I suppose it's self-evident, when you are over 100 pounds overweight. Self-preservation should undoubtedly top the list. I mean really, if you're that fat, the chances are approximately a gazillion times higher that you'll die from some weight-related issue like heart attack, diabetes, or asphyxiating yourself while attempting to tie your shoes.

So I dug up this old document I composed a little over a year ago, when I was feeling really depressed about my weight and contemplating yet another soon-to-fail diet. As I reread the document, I cringed a bit at some of the memories it brought back to mind, but simultaneously realized that this is exactly what I need: a reminder, of what I want to leave behind, and where I want to go.

So without further ado, I am enclosing a copy of the document, titled "Top 100 Reasons I Want to Lose Weight", herein. Enjoy...

1. I want to feel better.



2. I want to feel better about myself.



3. I am tired of being fat.



4. I am tired of looking wretched.



5. I am tired of my clothes not fitting.



6. I don’t want to die young.



7. I want to be around for my children.



8. I want to enjoy a long life with my wife.



9. I want to serve a mission.



10. I want to go to the beach.



11. I want to play in the pool with my kids.



12. I am tired of feeling tired.



13. I want to have better sex.



14. I am tired of failing.



15. I don’t want my kids to feel embarrassed by me.



16. I want my wife to be proud of me.



17. Food is fuel.



18. I want to change my bad habits.



19. I want to feel empowered by being able to change.



20. I want to obey the Word of Wisdom.



21. I want to go on amusement park rides with my kids.



22. I want to try snorkeling.



23. I want to try and scuba diving.



24. I want my friends to say “you look great”.



25. I am tired of feeling old.



26. I want to climb Mount Monadnock.



27. I am tired of having a big belly.



28. I want to shower at the gym without feeling embarrassed.



29. I want to run around with my kids without getting tired.



30. I am tired of having sore knees.



31. I want to spend less money on food.



32. I want to spend less time on food.



33. I want my wife to be able to hug me.



34. I want to look good in pictures.



35. I want to have a strong body in case of emergency.



36. I want to regain my confidence.



37. I want to be able to buy clothes in regular stores.



38. I want to start re-building my wardrobe.



39. I want to go skiing.



40. I want to have more patience and less stress.



41. I miss the feeling of a satisfying workout.



42. I want to win a contest.



43. I am tired of having a sore back.



44. I want to be a good example for my kids.



45. I want my kids to have better eating and exercise habits also.



46. I want to have an active family.



47. I don’t want to have a heart attack.



48. I want to feel comfortable naked.



49. I want to be strong.



50. I am tired of flab.



51. I want to go jet skiing.



52. I want to try water skiing.



53. I don’t want to be a statistic.



54. I want to know how it feels to be in shape.



55. I don’t want my wife to worry about me.



56. I want to make a good first impression.



57. I want to have more energy.



58. My body is a blessing, I need to respect it.



59. I want to fit in an airplane seat.



60. I don’t like my kids to call me fat.



61. My wife wants me to look hot in a bathing suit.



62. Dang I want to look hot in a bathing suit.



63. Come to think of it I’d be happy to fit into a bathing suit.



64. I want to take control of my life starting with this.



65. I want to build better willpower and self-discipline.



66. I don’t want to break furniture when I sit on it.



67. I want to see my toes.



68. I want to be able to use on a regular bathroom scale.



69. I want it to be easier to tie my shoes.



70. I want to sleep better.



71. I want to find my “six pack”.



72. I want to lose the “spare tire”.



73. I don’t want to become diabetic.



74. I am tired of asthma.



75. I am tired of obsessing about food.



76. I want my dream to come true.



77. I want my prayers to be answered.



78. I don’t want to run the marathon but I do want to know that I could.



79. My wife misses my skinny face.



80. I want to be a Mike D success story!



81. I want my picture up at Body Evolver.



82. I want to fit into my cool ski jacket.



83. I hate my double chin.



84. I want to fit into logo ware like an AYL windbreaker!



85. I want a comfortable pair of jeans!



86. I don’t want to labor over food choices.



87. I want to see my grandchildren.



88. I want to be there for my grandchildren.



89. I want to inspire others.



90. I’m tired of tummy aches from bad food.



91. I want to dance at weddings.



92. I want to walk, not waddle.



93. I want to climb stairs without getting tired.



94. I want to carry my kids without getting tired.



95. I don’t want to be a “girlie man”



96. I want to project strength, not weakness



97. I am tired of sweating when sitting still.



98. Eat to live, not live to eat.



99. I hate the flab under my arms.



100. Did I mention better sex?

On A Roll...

Well, it's official - I'm on a roll!

Today marks week 3, and this morning's weigh-in did not disappoint. I'm down to 315.2, for a grand total loss of 14.8 pounds in 3 weeks. Boo-yah!

All is happy here in fatland. Once again I realize that this pace is not likely to continue much longer, so I will GLOAT NOW WHILE I CAN!

I think the key for me here is to feel good about the success, but not rest on my laurels. I must continue to be diligent to the point of anal retentive, for now at least, about what enters my piehole. Anyone can be successful for 3 weeks. I need to take the long term view, so I can be successful for the rest of my life. I need all the momentum I can get right now. I need to bank all that mental feel-good mojo and build up a reservoir that I can draw on when things get tough, which - without a doubt - they will!

So for now, yippee-ki-yay and all that. I rock. I am a rock. I will soon be built like a rock. Rock on!

I Feel Good

I feel good.

I know everyone hates dieting, and it is EXCRUTIATINGLY hard at times, and you have days (like my wife did yesterday) where you're starving and have a headache and your kids are eating all your diet food and you're ready to raid the pantry and eat anything in sight.

And I know there are long stretches where it feels like you'll never lose weight and dieting sucks and the scale isn't moving and you feel like it's TOTALLY NOT WORTH IT.

And I know there are cheat days when you just couldn't help yourself and you were at that party and boy don't those little meatballs look yummy and pretty soon you've plated up a dessert "sampler" plate with "just a little taste" of everything and by the end you're all "whoa I blew it life is over".

Which is precisely why I need to make this post. I need to remember this feeling, right here, right now. This is the ever-evasive "feeling good about dieting" feeling.

Contrary to popular belief, dieting has its moments. I'm not talking about all those people ranting and raving about how they "did it" and lost hundreds of pounds years ago and kept it off and are now fitness buffs and blah blah blah and how their diets were so easy and great. (Those people make you want to eat a dozen Krispy Kremes and then vomit them up all over them. Incidentally, I want to be one of those people).

No the diet moments are few and far between, but a good weigh-in, the loose clothes, fitting into long lost skinny clothes -- those my friends are the moments we cherish.

But here's another one. Whenever I first start a diet, assuming it's a real diet and not another who-am-I kidding diet, I almost always experience this epiphany of physical well being. Within a few days I can already feel a subtle boost of energy, a little spring in my step. I feel less bloated, less, well...full of food. With evenly spaced, nutritionally balanced meals, my energy level feels less erratic. When meal time arrives, lo and behold: I'm actually really hungry! No sugar highs, food comas, etc. All of those negative consequences of poor eating are real - but over time they become really hard to discern because you get used to them. But cut over to an actual healthy diet, and your body rewards you. Unfortunately, the reward becomes really hard to discern as well, because you get used to it as well. And there's the rub. And for me, it is the evil enabler of relapse: forgetting how crappy you feel when you eat like crap.

So lest I ever forget again, let me emphatically declare this simple truth: eating well makes me feel good. Amen.

The Calm Before the Storm

I think I may finally be ready for The Big Drop. That is what I have decided to name my impending metamorphasis.

For all of my adult life now, I have been fat. Not big boned, not chubby -- fat. I don't think I've weighed myself in over a year but I must be pushing 330 pounds if not more. None of my clothes fit, even my 18-1/2 36 shirts which have pretty much always fit me through all my yo-yo weight changes. My weight loss failures are too numerous to discuss, actually too numerous to even remember. I think my hope my hopelessness has finally reached its pinnacle.

But this is it. I am turning 40 next year and I think I had an epiphany yesterday. My fortieth birthday almost exactly 15 months away. That is almost exactly enough time for me to achieve a big honkin goal: to get down to 200 pounds. If I put my shoulder to the wheel and grind it out, and lose 2 pounds a week, then in 64 weeks I should be able to lose 128 pounds. Depending on my current weight, the exact number of weeks, etc. - I think I can just about make it. How huge would it be for me to nail that goal? HUGE.

Susan is in a similar (albeit much smaller) boat, having recently figured she's heavier than she's ever been before in her life. She has decided to take the plunge and try Alli. I think her decision to get started is just the spark I needed to ignite the considerable kindling gathered under my butt and light my fire.

So I spent a few minutes last night and this morning checking out a few web sites and thinking about how to do this. One thing I've decided is to give this "program" a name: The Big Drop. Corny, perhaps, but I figure maybe giving a name to my pain will help me stick to it. Kindof like when kids that live on farms give names to their animals - they say once you name it, you can never slaughter it or eat it.

Meanwhile on a total whim, sitting here in the office, I decided to create this blog. Again, I figure the more I invest, the harder it will be to quit. So for better or for worse, I will use this outlet to chronicle the long journey on which I am about to embark. My sincere wish is that I will be sitting here in 15 months, marveling at this first entry and proud of the achievement I've made.