It's like a switch.
I have noticed something about my commitment to dieting. It's like a switch. Either on or off. I am either totally cruising, no sweat, minimal effort, everything's good - OR - I'm off kilter, starving, and feeling frustrated and deprived.
Which is how I felt last night, when I had my first "off track" moment so far.
Fortunately the damage was pretty well contained. We scarcely have any "bad" food in the house, so my infractions were largely limited to diet food. I started with a 1/2 cup of fat free frozen yogurt, which was supposed to be my last snack of the day. But for some reason that didn't satisfy the beast, so I went on to wolf down:
- 3 Quaker Apple and Cinnamon Rice Cakes
- 2 Stella Doro Anisette Sponge cookies
- 2 Snackwells Devil's Food Cake cookies
- A few bites of Edy's Butter Pecan ice cream
Well, not so bad from a caloric standpoint. But I was feeling quite glum afterwards. This was a bit of a psychological/emotional setback for me. Up until that point, nothing had passed my lips except for the exact amounts of the exact foods on my well planned menu. So here we are on day 8, already off-roading.
On one hand I should not be so hard on myself. I can't expect to execute the plan perfectly.
On the other hand, this was a binge, however small, and I want to eradicate binge eating from my behavioral repertoire. I am fine going off plan, provided I plan on it. Like, for instance, tonight. Susan and I are having dinner out with some dear friends. Now I will not take this opportunity to go off the rails on some indulgent rampage, but for heaven's sake - I'm going out for dinner, I expect my meal will contain more than 15 grams of fat and 400 calories. That's fine, I'm planning it. What I don't need to do, EVER, is sit here in my house, thinking to myself I'm hungry dangit and I'm going to eat whatever I jolly well please. That is a loss of self control. Not good. Not good. That is how I ended up where I'm at.
Anyway, enough flogging myself. I am looking forward to a terrific weekend with the fam and have lots of fun stuff lined up. I just need to take it one day at a time...
2 comments:
Good for you for coming out and talking about it. I really think that as long as you continue to be honest like this that it will be easier and easier to withhold those cravings. At least that's what I am hoping for me!
Couldn't agree more with the switch analogy! It's always been that way with me - black or white, but no grey area. I'm either dropping poundage left and right, or I'm diving head-first into a mountain of junk food. I've fought this behavior for years, and I've finally decided that it'll be a lifelong battle, just something I'm going to have to learn to manage more effectively.
Post a Comment